motherhood is hard.

i feel exhausted.

i’m not cut out for this motherhood thing. some women can handle this really well, even when it’s hard as hell, they can handle it.

i can handle businesses really well. projects can be blowing up simultaneously and i can handle it without skipping a beat. like that time when i was consulting and during the kick-off presentation my client couldn’t get her presentation started on the computer, and she kept apologizing while everyone twiddled their thumbs looking super uncomfortable, and she looked like she was going to burst out cryin’. i calmly intervened and suggested another presenter start with his portion of the training while we sort out her presentation, and everyone looked super grateful for the suggestion, and it all worked out.

well, today i had a hard time understanding what bebe wanted and then he refused to lay there quietly while i cleaned up his poopy diaper and…

i’m exhausted.

aida tells me that i am going through the peak of bebe’s separation anxiety.

a friend told me on the phone yesterday that i need to expose bebe to diverse people, by going to playgrounds and letting him see other kids etc, and even allowing a few people i trust to hold him for 5 minutes to prove to him that he will be ok, even if he screams his head off (and yes, he will scream his head off, as sure as inflation will arrive over our great noble land).

what does this mean? what do i do?

this motherhood thing sucks. because it’s hard.