motherhood is hard.

I haven’t had much time to post updates because Baby J has been keeping me busy. Now that he’s awake for longer periods of time (an hour at least each time) and wants to play (he lets me know by kicking his legs out), each period of feeding/changing diaper/playing takes about 2 hours before he’d settle down for a nap.

Baby J is 2 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days old today. Here are some developments before I forget! Baby J…

… Loves to stand on his two feet even when he can’t sit without falling over (of course we don’t let him fall over; we support his floppy body). I worry a bit about whether it’s OK to let him stand up so often by supporting his upper body and letting his feet touch the ground. Would it be too stressful on his knees, etc.

… Knows to tap on the piano keys and make sounds on it. He sure drools a lot when he’s figuring out how to control his hands and place them on the keyboard though.

… Has officially “reached out” to touch something yesterday – a navy blue and white towel that I always thought has a hideous pattern, but apparently the pattern is fascinating to Baby J.

… Can roll himself over from his stomach, although with great difficulty and effort (and a lot of drooling during the process) because I make it difficult for him by placing his arms wide apart so he has to really use his upper body strength to leverage a roll.

… Has slept for a 4+ hour stretch once, although he started sleeping early evening so I didn’t get a “sleeping through the night” break and still woke up a couple of times to feed him. No matter: I’ll take all the extra minutes of sleep I can get!

… Is making new sounds in addition to the usual “ah ah” – he’s found the letter “g” and sometimes says “a-ge”. I love hearing him talk, and have to remember to stop talking to him and letting him get a baby-talk in edgewise once in a while!

I’m amazed at how Baby J is developing and growing. It is truly a blessing to witness the growth of a new human life, and I feel very lucky to have this privilege.

A comment that we’ve come to hear often when people see Baby J is, “He looks so alert!” We take for granted that Baby J is “alert” when he’s “awake” and at first couldn’t understand what’s the big deal. We thought it normal for a baby to smile, laugh, coo, look about, and move about as much as Baby J does when awake. However, my husband’s coworker told him that not all 2 month old babies are “alert” the way Baby J is when they’re “awake”. Since I haven’t seen another 2 month old, I’ll have to take people’s word for it.

Finally, I am in the process of “letting go” of one of my businesses. It’s no longer aligned with where I am in my life and where I want to head next.

It is a scary process, this letting go, especially because this business that I’m letting go of has generated about 90% of my annual earnings. I can’t keep doing something that sucks the light out of my soul anymore.

P.S. I love this favicon generator!

We’ve had the stroller since last year and have used it only twice … both times my husband assembled the thing and pushed it while I walked alongside him. This morning I decided to take Baby J out for a walk in the stroller around the neighborhood.

Taking Baby J out for a walk was really a decision for self preservation: my back still hurts and I now have limited range of motion from my waist. Usually in the morning I’d drop him in the moby wrap so he could sleep for a few hours while I work.

Earlier this week I went for my annual dental cleaning. The hygienist said she is seeing decalcification in my teeth. This is a loss of calcium from teeth. She recommended that I use a fluoride rinse, to continue taking my prenatal vitamins, and to take care of my body.

I’m pretty sure that the loss of calcium isn’t selectively from my teeth only; I’ve probably lost calcium from my bones as well. This may explain why I’ve been feeling so ricketty lately.

My joints have taken a hit as my limbs creak and crack (literally) when I move them. My muscles ache and yesterday I had to plaster a couple of “Salonpas” on my back.

I want to start doing some yoga stretches each day to loosen up my muscles, but honestly I’ve been feeling so tired that I’d rather take a nap.

I’ve got emails backlogged from last week – that’s a record for me, as I’m usually very responsive and reply within 24-48 hours (often sooner). Just too tired to think and compose emails!

(I put Baby J in the bassinet to nap, but the loud clacking of my keyboard keeps waking him up. I don’t know whether to let him get used the this loud clacking or buy a new keyboard that doesn’t clack….)